i have been running our conversations
over in my mind
for days now
and adding to them
and telling you things
i have not been telling you
but for the fantastic...

and your hands...
god, i have felt them
without fail
crushing me
breaking me
holding me together
raking my skin
wrapped around my neck
bringing nothing
but ecstacy

your casual closeness
you know how to ask
and responding i give
and give
and give
i open wide
and fragile
and i don't think you realize how much

and in the midst of my ministrations
(my hands have become my outlet
and my tongue adventurous)
you leap up to envelope me
and reasure
to quell my demons
and i want so much
to believe in you

i found your letters to her
and fell apart a little
it's hard to compete
with a strong woman
a perfect woman
an angel
with eyes of fire and soft warmth
or to know whether to compete at all
to not know...
you are capable of giving so much...
but to me?

this is exhausting me
but i will follow
on my hands and knees
if you want me to



[link]



life is about to change. i am at the point where this change is inevitable, and of course i want it, but my weaker side is screaming a little bit inside. it likes the safe known things, and i am about to throw myself into the unkown.

at least i will soon have a little kitten to force all my love on

i hate the heat!



[link]