the room is spinning
spinning at the speed of sound
and i am enveloped in her
and all around me dissolves
as if the divine universal plasma
is slowly soaking through the material
mesh of my existence
and melting it away

and she pulls me to a darkened corner
from the middle of the room
where our watchers eyes doth follow
though requests dwindle with the patrons
and my drink is constantly filled
until i cannot taste another drop
and she says to me
"are you coming home"

and i have never been able to resist...

so i languish in her bed
as only i am able to languish
and move
and kiss
and touch
and gasp and cry out
for the pleasure of it
and she smiles her knowing
and achingly pretty smile

but she has wounds
deeper wounds than mine
and whilest i want mine healed
i'm not sure she wants to stop
her bleeding...
she reminds me of the deep dark
of places i have been
and never want to go again
she begins to scare the hell out of me

and at some point i am exhausted
i am weak for her
and suddenly i am surrounded by her
and by him
but i don't want him near me
i need to want this
don't you understand?
everything is confusing
they both feed at whim
and his hands still tear my flesh
and seek me out
even though i have told him not to
and my mind has to follow his goddamned hands
so i can snatch them when they get too close

until i am tired of hiding
and i bury my head
and sleep
though my dreaming is shallow
and my body is sick
and my mind is wrecked
and i wake in feverish fear
between the two of them

leave me to my death of sorts
sometimes i touch the dark again
and need to run away...



[link]



so i finally moved into my new house. it hasn't fallen down yet. emphasis on yet. i got a new bed which i broke almost immediately, you know, breaking it in and all that.
our next door neighbour is a 40 year old junkie with a 15 year old runaway girlfriend who lives with his mum. the cops are called over nightly. i have come to the conclusion this neighbourhood is about as low class as it gets, and expect in due time to find a body in our back yard, which had to have the weeds bulldozed before we moved in.
at least all of our highly strange and messed up neighbours like our music. see, the zeppelin is awesome.
australia is fucking hot right now. i mean unbearably hot. when i'm not working in air conditioning, i just sit in the cold shower. nothing else for it. now i'm seriously asking myself why i'm applying for permanent residence...